I work in the healthcare industry.  Just so you don't think I'm an insensitive jerk, the doctor I work for does not see patients who are in major health crises. 

Many of the people I deal with at my job seem to have major attitude problems.  There are all kinds - the sarcastic, the chip on your shoulder, the self-centered, and the generally nasty.  I'm sure that these people like to spew their attitudes and rile helpless public servants such as myself.   

I do not like confrontation.  If I could just disappear when these people try to get into it with me, I would.  Unfortunately, I can't do that and I can't let them see me get upset, either.  It is tempting to let my pride take over and tell them to go fly a kite (or worse.)  I don't have to take that abuse.  I have thought about just turning it around and being super nice to them in response, but my blood pressure rises and I start feeling like I want to fight back. 

What would be the Christian response?

I don't go to church regularly.  I'm almost ashamed to admit that.  It's not for lack of trying to find a church, either. I am Catholic, but an open to finding my bliss in other denominations.  I know that is contrary to the teachings of the church, but I find fault with many Catholic churches in my area.  As a matter of fact, I am likely to find fault with just about any church.  So, this is my problem. 

I have dreams of finding the perfect place to worship.  It's not a conservative church, but it doesn't habitually stray from Scripture, either.  The music is traditional hymms.   No contemporary worship music, please.   (sorry, no offense.. LOL)  Of course the congregation is welcoming but not stifling and the pastor or priest is pefect in all of those ways and more. 

I know all of that is just a fantasy and I really don't have such high expectations.  I very much want to belong to a church community.  I really want to have a pastor or priest who actually knew me give be present at my funeral. 

Part of the problem, I believe, is that I never went to church as a child.  I begged my mother to take me and was confirmed as a teenager.  The drama of the people in the church youth group turned me off at that time.  I was required to go to in order to be married, but stopped after the wedding.  This is a pattern for me that would last until now. 

My family doesn't have the desire to go and I blame myself.  I blame myself for my oldest son's disbelief in God because we never had a church or church community to reinforce our beliefs. 

Not sure why I'm writing about this.   I hope there are others like me who have overcome this.  Maybe I need advice, I don't know.  All I know is that just about every Sunday morning, I have good intentions that are never fulfilled.